So, you’ve decided to take a new relationship to the next level. It is good to be prepared to meet your partner’s family, especially if you think he’s “the one.” You probably have a ton of questions going through your mind like, “will she think I’m good enough for him?” Questions like this and others are bound to pop up. Knowing what to do to give his mom a good impression, and forge a good relationship will help reduce those “awkward” first moments. This article will give you some tips and advice on how to handle meeting his mom, and spending time with her in the beginning.
If it has come to the point where you can’t make anymore excuses why you can’t go to that family barbeque, or you both are ready, then here are some tips to help you say yes to the invites:
His mom, and anyone else in his family will always appreciate the fact that you are genuine. Don’t try to be fake to impress his mom or his family. Be yourself. Be polite. Be a lady, but show them who you are inside and out. On the other hand, be reserved. Save huge horror stories, cussing, or lack of manners until you get to know them better. Your boyfriend will also respect you being the real you!
Moms love to talk about their kids, and you are very interested in one of them. She will most likely want to tell you stories about your boyfriend’s growing up. Listen carefully; she has much wisdom. Practice your listening skills. If you let her talk your ear off, you will earn big points in her book! Going in mostly talking about yourself will make her think you’re self-centered, and only think about yourself. When she is done talking, feel free to speak in context about what she had to say. You don’t want her to think you’re disconnected or don’t care. Just use good discretion about what you have to say to her.
You never want to be seen as a “meddler.” If you are just coming into the family, avoid conversations about family issues going on. You may have some great advice on how to handle a situation, but this can backfire on you. Until you are married, she will still consider you an “outsider,” and will lose respect for you if you get too involved in something that is really none of your business.
How to make your boyfriend’s mom like you? One surefire way to win over your boyfriend’s mom is to show her you are capable of taking care of him. Invite her over for dinner. Make sure your house is clean, laundry folded and put away, house organized, etc. Most of the issue’s with mom’s and son’s is making sure they will be well cared for when they leave her household. If you don’t have her over to your place, bake her something and take it over to their house. If you are invited over for dinner, get up from the table and offer to wash dishes. If you see her cleaning up, offer to help.
Do something with his mom. You can invite her to a movie, dinner, or a shopping trip to the mall. Have some one-on-one “girl time” doing something you both enjoy. There may be a lot less tension if you can get her to hang out with you alone.
Make her feel like she is an addition to your life. Once you get to know her better, ask her for her thoughts and advice on things. Show her that she is not losing a son, but gaining a friend in you. If you and your boyfriend decide to “move-in” have her help with decorating ideas. If you decide to get married, take her wedding dress shopping with you.
Take note of things she likes, so when holidays roll around you can find the perfect gift for her. Make sure you write down important family dates, like her birthday. Find out what kind of music she likes, things she likes to eat, and things she collects. While you don’t have to go overboard with spoiling her, a little trinket here and there shows that you truly care.
How to make your boyfriend’s mom like you? If there are issues with your boyfriend, it is best to keep negative thoughts about her son in check. You may have a mom that thinks her son can “do no wrong,” on your hands. In this case, you may not have much of an ally in her. Voicing negative thoughts about him to his mother may get back to him, and drive a wedge further between you and him. If you have an issue with him, best to keep it between the two of you. However, if the issue just involves his temperament as a person, she may offer advice if she actually witnesses something. Leave it up to her to offer.
Let her know that you think of her and surprise her with a phone call or short note. Do this out-of-the-blue and you will surely win her over. If you and your boyfriend spend a lot of time together, she may be feeling a little left out. A note or phone call may perk her spirits up when she needs it the most. Moms love thoughtfulness.
A mom’s worst nightmare is a girl that is whiny, needy, and demanding of her son. She will throw you under the bus quicker than you can even imagine. Realize that love is a “two-way” street and as much as he treats you like a princess, treat him like a prince. Do not belittle or yell at him in front of his mom. Instead, show him kindness and love at all times, even when she isn’t around. If she sees him with a long face, her first question will be how things are going with you.